Interactions with people are a difficult, complex thing. However, we do it pretty well. Before we say something, we consider how we would take that comment. Cause and effect teaches us that this comment will make someone feel good and this comment will make someone mad.
A person with autism has trouble with this. They say what is one their mind because they cannot predict how someone else thinks (to generalize). They do not see social constructs.
. Otherwise you leave them in the dark of what is wrong. Focus on helping them not make the mistake with someone else.
John Elder Robison, author of Look Me In The Eyes, talked about his Asperger’s syndrome going undiagnosed. A great book and in it he talks about the adults being the only ones that interacted with him due to his social skills.
He gives great anecdotes about how hard it was to interact with him.
People with autism can be challenging. However, as adults, we can handle it. When behaviors get on our nerves, we need to be the ones that keep them from isolation.
Their behaviors are not a choice to be naughty. They can be organic and they can be learned. They may make comments that are insensitive because they cannot predict how it will be taken.
Those behaviors may need to be ignored. However, we need to make sure the person behind those behaviors are also not ignored.
People with autism can do or say things that are annoying. At times they may drive peers away and sometimes they do not know how to engage with peers, but want to. They gravitate towards the adults they know because adults know the importance of being kind.
You do not know how important you might be to someone without positive relationships.
I definitely heard echoes of Holden Caulfield as I read this book. Tyler is a modern young person with some issues trying to make sense of the world. He tries portray himself as normal by mimicking the characters in movies and TV shows that he is obsessed with.
He also uses chemicals to help him do that.
Anderson’s main character tell us his story. It’s a unique one while hitting the anxiety that we felt as young people (not that you will not identify if you are not so young). Tyler feels like he is a fraud and is more comfortable with failure due to his childhood. He finds himself doing terrible things to continue his failure. I found the way Anderson let us into Tyler’s head through first person and then had him be a reliable narrator well done.
Anderson also did well with his dialogue and inner monologue. The language and the events of family time with the girlfriend’s family was dead on.
Tyler cynicism reveals the craziness that our modern society has become- from casual sex to foreign policy. To me a literary novel searches the depth of human experience while revealing the condition of society as it truly exists. Anderson does both well.
Drunk In the Warm Glow on Amazon-
I tried something a little different. This book. I was motivated to support a Wisconsin author. It is something I believe in. And I can tell you:
I enjoyed Nick of Time. It was outside my normal reading genres, but it kept me turning the pages (flicking the pages as I read it on my Kindle app. Ms. Amos took on some very heavy duty topics. She did not bog down in them, but she didn’t gloss over them either. This well-paced novel, showed a main character dealing with the guilt of a car accident that left her daughter in a coma. Ms. Amos engaged me in the story while only showing the story necessary to make the story compelling.
The story is also highly imaginative with the afterlife and why ghosts appear. Not only does she tackle this, but she makes time travel believable.
This story left me still thinking about the world Ms. Amos created and thinking about life after death.
Nobody likes what they have. There is always something better and it is in our nature to find problems. Perhaps most importantly, nothing is perfect, but we want things to be.
And that is why Trump was elected. He is a salesman and he used salesman techniques to sell himself. I noticed that seeing all of his promises put together. He promised everything. Health care that did everything and was cheaper. He promised a balanced budget that expanded the military. This is low-balling.
According to Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 22 Mar. 2017, Definition of lowball
1 : to give (a customer) a deceptively low price or cost estimate
2 : to give a markedly or unfairly low offer
He gave the racists what he wanted. He promised them what they wanted while saying no one is less racist than me. In this way, he won over the racist and many moderates. He gave the fundamentalist what they wanted by being anti-abortion. Then he promised the large amount of disgruntled voters what they wanted. That he was not beholding to politicians or greedy Wall Street jerks. He still says that while putting those exact kind of people in position of power. Words are more powerful than facts.
He does not care. His job was to land the big client, the American people. He wants to go on and keep selling and leave the delivery to Bannon and his crew. He may not even support what they are doing, but he is not concerned with that. That is not his skill set so he is not even going to try. Instead, he’s going back on the road and do some more selling. That is where the adrenaline rush is.
Selling is his comfort zone. It is a money-getting skill, but you don’t have to be brilliant for it. You just used the time-tested techniques. So it’s how he approaches everything. Dealing with reporters and dealing with foreign heads of state. He believes that he can succeed with his limited skill set. However, his ad campaign of a ,er, campaign worked on the individual voter and running a government is not. After all, as Abraham Lincoln said, You can’t play a player,
The United States foreign policy needs to mimic an effective force. A mother. When they are not causing trouble, the mother remains quiet. When a child comes to them, they are loving. They pour on the love and support. But if the child disobeys and gets into a fight with someone else, mom goes apeshit. She wants you to regret acting out and she makes sure that you do.
Then if the child gets into a fight and it is not his fault, watch out. She will protect that child and make the other child pay.
But children act out. So she puts them on a timeout, and if that doesn’t work, the mother may back him into a corner with a big spoon until the child acts the same way. Then a little later, if that child comes and needs something, she opens her arms wide. She tries to make everything all better. Then she is back to nurturing. Helping the child to grow and succeed.
She wants the child to succeed. She also wants a little thanks. She most likely won’t get it. Yet she continues to help and encourage. She shows by example even though there is nothing in it for her.
As long as you don’t mess with her. As long as you don’t fuck up big time. Because she never rests. She has eyes on that child (and in the back of her head, ie. drones). She will help that child to be self-sufficient and good. But even after that child has grown up, watch out. She believes you are not so old that you can’t be bent over and given a spanking.
Even then, you still respect mom. Because she makes the best meals at Thanksgiving. You try not to attack another person and threaten them with nuclear annihilation.
In the next of my autism life videos, I discuss the ways I deal with things when I am not happy and my current update. Hope you enjoy.
via My Autism Life 9 – If you are not happy, do something about it — David Snape and Friends – The place to show off your hidden talents