You are your child’s advocate in any level of planning meetings, the professionals do want good things for your child. But it is within the framework of what is best for themselves and their institution.
My son required quite extensive interventions when he was younger. In home therapy, early childhood, speech, OT, etc. We were blessed that he made so much progress that his needs fell away. At one point, the only thing addressed on the iep was speech and he did not really need that. It was clear that they wanted to keep him in special education to keep that special education money.
Sometimes, it works the opposite. Professionals want to do what will save money and manpower by not giving your child what they need.
Sometimes the plan they want to enact is simply not a good one for your child. Dealing with Autism, you may not be objective when it comes to your child. Sometimes it will feel like people are judging you.
However, professionals lose their objectivity as well. Seeing themselves as professionals, they believe they are correct on all things.
Even if they begin to cringe when they see you, you have a strong voice in the plan. If they are not working in the BEST interests of your child, there is a process and ways to fix that.
I think in giving advice to young people, too often we overlook that they are experiencing things for the first time. From love to heartbreak, we apply our view to how they might feel.
Instead we should validate their feelings. They are strong and teenagers are dramatic because if feels overwhelming. What we can do is explain that things will get easier. With age comes the lesson that heartbreak is not so bad because we have gone through it. We learned that we will be okay. That good follows it. Then the next time heartbreak happens, it affects us less because it is not the end of the world. It is life. This is not numbness, but an overall appreciation aat looking at our lives as a whole and not just focusing on the heartbreak.
Are men pigs? In some ways.
But society also teaches us. Perhaps some men are born assholes. Other achieve asshole status, and some have it thrust upon them.
How is society set up? First of all, it is set up for woman to be objects and then teaches them its best to keep quiet.
Also, though, it teaches men that they must be bold and confident. That they need to go after what they want. That it is a feather in your cap to go after a woman that other men want and win.
Some of that comes from caveman times. But what if we all learned to look at people from the inside first. That is not so easy. Men’s head will always turn when a nice looking woman comes around. Men are visual creatures (more specific type of creature- pigs).
But we need to teach men not to score with women and keep score. While we teacher our daughters to be strong, independent, and confident, we also need to teach our boys to see beauty, but to look for real genuine relationships.
We would all be better off looking for and enjoying the interaction we have with people. I guess I’m saying we should go about our business, looking for the beauty on the inside and then pursuing a romantic relationship only when both the man and woman feel that spark of chemistry.
Too often men, look for “hotness” and go after that, disregarding whether or not they actually like the woman.
That Spectrum commercial where the woman gets cable and her husband turns out to be a dish employee, shows the dish guy as fat slovenly . It correlates stupid with dish, but also with obese people.
Notice that the spectrum cable guy is slim and cleancut. He has his shirt tucked in. Spectrum wants us to like that guy.
Spectrum doesn’t want us to respect the husband who turns out to be a dish network installer. So they make him silly, and chubby.
Its subtle because nowadays they have to be. But it is there, isn’t it?
Saturday, dad and I traded songs via youtube. He showed me who put the overalls in mrs ___ chowder. We also listened to Nellie Jack and my blue heaven. Dad talked about how his dad would come out of his bedroom dancing and singing these two songs. My dad was emotional as he remembered this. He said Grandpa must have been a romantic. Other men didn’t want to get married, but he always wanted a family. Dad said he did too.
I replied that’s what I always wanted as well.
What a gift my father gave to me. To share and to be vulnerable. And to be emotional.