Set Point-

Studies have shown that  people quickly (within six months) to their normal state of happiness after a significant event.  That thing that happened to you that made you depressed, there are lifelong consequences with some things, you will return to how you felt before.  The same goes for that wonderful event that was going to make you happy for the rest of your life. You fall in love or win the lottery, those are great and may change your life, but you go back to the same level of satisfaction.

That does not mean, however, that you are doomed to be unhappy.  The way you look at life is the way I looked at Algebra. When I was young, I did not like Algebra.  I thought it was confusing. It sucked. Now perhaps, you feel that way about life. That’s because young people do not have the knowledge base to handle life (like I did not with Algebra).

Algebra may not get better for some of us.  But it does get easier once you learn some ideas. I had a better outlook on Algebra once I mastered some of the concepts. The same with life.

Young people, life does get better.  You learn (from your mistakes). Once you learn things- life goes on, you will fall in love again, you must focus on appreciating what you have- you will get better at living and your attitude toward it will improve.

Each day, try to master the things that make people happy.  You will increase your level of happiness. Bouts of depression will hit you.  You will get sad, but with time (and maybe medication) you will eventually return to a level of happiness that people with money, fame or whatever don’t have

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The Abstract Gifts of God

My wife and I had settled into a grove. That was when we decided to have our third child.  We ended contraception and we quickly had a bun in the oven. Thinking about that the other day made me think. We chose to create a baby. God didn’t answer our prayers or gave us that gift.

Well, He did in the sense that it is a the process of having a baby and children in general is a beautiful process. Perhaps God brings us that beauty. He did not, however, care if we had a child. He did not decide when. We did.

I know because our other children were not planned. We decided to create a baby by the act. Now you could think that was God’s decision to give us a baby for having premarital sex. To make our lives more difficult. Well, it may have been difficult, but our children have brought us so much happiness.

So the process of procreation is a beautiful miracle. A baby though is no more a gift than a warm sunny day. Does God give a baby as a reward?  Does He sometimes give a baby as a punishment? Does God play games with life?

Does God give us sunny days when we ask.  If I pray for a sunny day, does the bad person next door not get the same sunny day?

Can people be a fundamentalist Christian and not believe that God chooses to give or take a baby away? I think so.  You could believe in instances in the Bible where human life was given to some people from God. A true miracle.

Otherwise, other than giving humanity itself, God is not involved in procreation. I doubt that he judges and condemns by giving someone a baby.

What about the soul. God puts a soul in each of us? I ask another question. When does he do it for a baby that was made from a frozen embryo and a sperm sample?

I have many questions. But for me the answer of the soul is that we have a collective soul. That soul in each of us and connects us. A baby absorbs it as it grows.  A miscarriage or an abortion, the energy is reabsorbed and waits for another baby.

 

Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash

Self-Esteem

For my non writing career, I will be facilitating a self-esteem group.  The problem irking me is the whole concept of identifying yourself as a person with low self-esteem.  It may in fact be a problem with you. But it seems to be piling on.  You have low self esteem.

Which it is not people’s faulty. I just think that people suffering from low self-esteem will feel like it is.

So I am not going to label people as having low self esteem.  I don’t think it matters.  We are all trying to improve ourselves and be happier. So I will focus on that.  I will discuss the barriers to happiness such as negative thoughts and critical inner thoughts. I will teach things to do to be happier and content.  Correct me if I am wrong, but those should make one’s self-esteem better.