The United States foreign policy needs to mimic an effective force. A mother. When they are not causing trouble, the mother remains quiet. When a child comes to them, they are loving. They pour on the love and support. But if the child disobeys and gets into a fight with someone else, mom goes apeshit. She wants you to regret acting out and she makes sure that you do.
Then if the child gets into a fight and it is not his fault, watch out. She will protect that child and make the other child pay.
But children act out. So she puts them on a timeout, and if that doesn’t work, the mother may back him into a corner with a big spoon until the child acts the same way. Then a little later, if that child comes and needs something, she opens her arms wide. She tries to make everything all better. Then she is back to nurturing. Helping the child to grow and succeed.
She wants the child to succeed. She also wants a little thanks. She most likely won’t get it. Yet she continues to help and encourage. She shows by example even though there is nothing in it for her.
As long as you don’t mess with her. As long as you don’t fuck up big time. Because she never rests. She has eyes on that child (and in the back of her head, ie. drones). She will help that child to be self-sufficient and good. But even after that child has grown up, watch out. She believes you are not so old that you can’t be bent over and given a spanking.
Even then, you still respect mom. Because she makes the best meals at Thanksgiving. You try not to attack another person and threaten them with nuclear annihilation.
This is my review for Louis Clark’s chapbook How to Be an Indian in the 21st Century. This is from the Wisconsin Historical Press.
“The story Mr. Clark tells is fascinating. It’s his story of growing up Native American in Wisconsin and facing racism, discrimination, and a difficult childhood. Don’t worry though, Mr. Clark also focuses on humor and love. He reminds me of a priest our church had that told a homily and broke out into song to punctuate his points. Mr. Clark does that with his poetry.”
In full disclosure, I know Mr. Clark. I interviewed him for my YouTube Channel show AuthorShowcase of Oshkosh. Besides being a great guy and family man, he has many stories to tell (he tells many in this book). So I am biased. Yet I think you will find this to be a great book. He weaves poetry in the story of his life and as he tell us, he does it to the real beat of the pow wow drum.
Everyone can get frustrated at noise or lights. People with autism are especially sensitive to it. Your mind has the ability to filter out an extraneous sound or a slight flicker to a light. However, a person with autism may not. It may be a trigger for them and it may not be obvious to neuro-typical person.
I have read experiences with kids where they are screaming and crying and it turns out they are upset about a machine in the other room or the flicker of lights. Most often, I think that they are responding to internal stimuli or that it is a behavioral response. They are trying to gain or avoid something. yet it is something to consider.
People with autism may not have a mind that can filter out what is important. They put as much attention to the electric fan going as the sound of your voice. The chair is as important as your face. They take in sensory input and cannot prioritize.
That is why they cannot identify social cues.
(disclaimer: I am going to generalize for simplicity sake. Autism affects every person different. They have their own set of skills and deficits, like everyone).
One of the significant problems of autism is the sensory. They do not filter out input the way a typical person does.That is why you will see a person with autism wearing headphones. They are extra sensitive to sounds.
They are extra sensitive to all sensory input.
That is why it is important to be calm when dealing with children with autism. Sometimes this can be impossible, but they do respond to calmness. If you can maintain a low heartbeat, slow breathing and a calm expression, their body will try to match it.
So if you can, sit close to them and remain calm and remain safe, then they will respond. However, you have to use caution. This leaves you open for a hit or bite.
Choose safety first.
After All, we have all been so angry we have wanted to hit someone or something. The thing that stops us is we identify others feelings and we know the social norms.
These are two things children with autism have difficulty with.
If you are upset, you will give off cues. Those cues come at a child with no filter strongly and there body gets even more overloaded.
This is why (and it is hard), as a aprent you should look into respite time. Autism is hard on you health and your marriage. Take help so that you can be at your best.